A Dating Roadblock
by Rush31
Summary: How can two lonely souls from totally different worlds be so similar yet so different? How do they come to be friends? How will the human cope when he finds out his new friend is an autonomous, robotic, alien, organism with feelings for him. Here's the story of Ironhide (Transformers) and Roadblock (G.I. Joe Retaliation). This is my first attempt at a crossover. Hope you enjoy it.


**Chapter 1 - Desperate Frustration**

"But Will, I thought you and I had a bond," said Ironhide.

"We do − as friends and brothers-in-arms. That's it. No more. No less. Look Ironhide, you're great, you really are − but I'm a human − with a wife and child, in case you've forgotten. You really need to focus your efforts on your own species − don't you think?"

Ironhide sighed. "There's not many of us left. The ones who are here, well, they're either unavailable or simply not interested," said Ironhide with dim optics. That was the softest Will had ever heard Ironhide speak.

Hide felt like a lonely reject. All of his advances had been shot down. He had tried everyone from Ratchet, to Arcee, to Will. He would have considered Sam too if he wasn't already taken. He was fallen quickly from frustration into desperation. If he wasn't careful, he'd soon find himself in a foul depression.

"I'm sorry Ironhide."

Hide just sighed again through the radio and opened the door to let Will out. Will hopped out in front of the main guard post. Immediately, Hide switched his gears into drive and accelerated into the darkness before Will could even shut the door back. A few minutes later, Will bumped into Ratchet. He was resting in his alt mode in front of the human infirmary. He had transported a wounded soldier there a few minutes earlier.

"Oomph. Oh, sorry Ratchet. Didn't see you there."

"Let me check your vitals. For you not to see me there must be something wrong with your vision. Were your eyes injured in battle?" asked Ratchet after transforming into his bipedal mode.

"I'm fine. Really. Just a little concerned about Ironhide."

"What about Hide? Did he get into the high-grade Energon cellar again?"

"No. No. He's been good. He's just lonely."

"Ah, I've noticed. We almost broke into fistacuffs because I wouldn't accept him as a sparkmate."

"Sparkmate?"

"It's similar to what you term a girl or boyfriend or maybe even a spouse."

"Why didn't you take him up on his offer? You guys seem great together."

"I have way too much to do to be involved. Besides, Ironhide is a very close friend and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I don't want things to become more complicated than they already are."

"Yeah, well, Ironhide must feel like he's exhausted all of his options. He seems desperate. He let it slip that he was even considering Sam."

"Now that is desperate," replied Ratch, "Where is he now, by the way?"

"Don't know. He sped away after dropping me off."

"I'll comm him later. Give him some time to burn off some frustration. I just hope he isn't blowing things up with those damn cannons. The last thing we need is the terror strike alert system sounding off."

"That wouldn't be good."

"Speaking of strikes, I heard we were getting new recruits to help with the next leg of our battle."

"Yeah, they call themselves the G.I. Joes. They're an elite Special Forces unit. They'll be with us for at least a months, or until they're needed elsewhere. Most will arrive in two weeks, but their Staff Sergeant will be here at the end of this week."

"Do they know that you're harboring alien beings?" asked Ratchet.

"Yes, but they don't have any clue as to what you guys are or how you look. It'll be fun to see if they can figure it out on their own."

"If you say so," replied Ratchet as he raised one of his optic ridges like a human eyebrow.

An hour and twenty two minutes had passed and Ironhide wasn't back yet. While driving on the dirt roads away from the base he remembered Sam mentioning something about online dating and a website called Plenty of Fish. What fish had to do with dating he had no clue. He figured since everything else had failed that he would give it a try.

He pulled off of the dirt road and parked himself in a grassy field. He was able to access an internet satellite and thus the website. Then he began setting up a profile. He even uploaded a photo of his holoform. After that he began downloading thousands of profile pictures. As they downloaded, he scanned and combed through the photos for several minutes. There were same cute females, by earthly standards, but two males really caught his optics. He saved the two photos to his memory core and decided to contact just one of them for now. He didn't want to press his luck. What he was doing was strictly forbidden. Once the initial message was sent, he just waited.

_For the love of Primus, how long is this supposed to take? I could have−_

/Ratchet to Ironhide. Pick up Ironhide./

/What is it, Ratch?/

/You've been sulking long enough. Get your exhaust port back to base for your check-up. One of the new recruits is arriving early. You'll be working with him at the end of the week and we need you in top form."

/Why me? Can't someone else deal with the new recruit?/

/Negative./ A baritone voice intercepted the comm link.

/But Optimus −/

/But nothing. The new recruit is the Staff Sergeant of the G.I. Joes and he's works well with heavy artillery. He's sort of weapons specialist, like yourself, so you're the most suitable bot./

/Really?/ Ironhide's curiosity was piqued now. Maybe Primus had finally smiled down on his old soul. /I'm heading back right now. Ironhide out./

/Is it just me or did he sound a bit eager to you?/ asked Ratchet.

/Yes he did. Poor Hide. I just hope he doesn't come on too strong. He can be very forward. I don't want him to be disappointed nor do I want him to compromise this mission. We don't know how these Joes will respond to us as allies, let alone anything else./

/I'll talk with him when he gets here. Ratchet out./

Twenty minutes later and Ironhide was pulling into the main Autobot hanger from the rear entrance. He swiftly changed into his bipedal form and went straight to the medbay. Upon entering, he bypassed the waiting area choosing instead to peek through threw the plastic curtains into one of the surgical rooms.

"You here Ratch?"

"Don't you know that when the curtain is pulled you're not supposed to stick your big helm through it? Luckily, I'm just cleaning up and there's nothing for you to contaminate."

"Sorry."

"Go back to the waiting area and sit your big aft down. I'll be with you in a moment."

Hide took a seat and began day dreaming about the new recruit as well as the guy from Plenty of Fish. _I really have to make some good impressions. Maybe I'll spice up my holoform for the Plenty of Fish guy and possibly get a new paint job for the new recruit. And then I'll . . . Wait_, _what am I getting so exciting for? I haven't even received a reply from the first guy. Neither of them will ever go for me. I'm an alien robot for Primus' sake._

Ratchet called Hide in and noticed the change in demeanor.

"What's the problem, Hide? A minute ago you were all smiles?" asked Ratchet as he stepped closer and placed a servo on his friend's shoulder.

"Nothing," said Hide while scratching his helm, a human gesture he had picked up. "I was just thinking about something."

"You were thinking about that new recruit."

"Yes I was, along with other things. So, so what?! Is there a problem with that?"

"Ironhide, you need to check your emotions. The new recruit doesn't know what we are just yet. He knows he's working with aliens but he doesn't know what he's getting into. Try not to scare him away. We need his help and the help of his team above everything else you may have in mind."

"I know that."

"Then behave like you know that. You need to be cautious with the new human. If you're patient with the recruit and you don't frighten him off, you may just gain a new friend."

"Okay. Okay. Primus. You act like I'm some monster."

"No, you're no monster. You're just a giant, robotic, sentient being with very large cannons."

"Yeah, I guess some might find that scary. When did I become so defensive like you?" asked Ironhide with a smirk.

"Excuse me," replied Ratchet as he picked up and hurled a large wrench at Ironhide's helm.

"I was just kiddin'," said Ironhide as he lifted his arms and hands to block the wrench.

"Just for that, I think you deserve a long, thorough check up. Now bend over."

Ironhide's optics grew wide and brightened to an electric shade of blue. Jazz and Bee were walking by and heard the wailing from inside the medbay.

"Ratchet must be giving one of those thorough checkups," said Bee.

"I feel sorry for that sucker," replied Jazz.

**Chapter 2 - You've Got Message**

"What 'cha up to Block?" asked Duke.

"Nothing much. Just cooking up some pasta and checking my email and voice messages."

"Did you ever try that online dating site I mentioned last week?"

"Yeah, I put up a profile but I didn't see anyone I was interested in. Maybe now isn't the time. We have that new mission coming up plus I'm just not feelin' it."

"Are you joking? All those hot ladies and you couldn't find one that you liked. I don't think you're putting in the effort. You need to get a personal life. The same way you need to take that promotion the next time it's offered to you," said Duke.

"Not this again. Look, as far as my rank is concerned, I'm comfortable where I am. As for the dating, there just aren't any women who compare to –"

"Your wife?"

"Yeah."

"Block, I understand. I really do. But she's been gone awhile and she even told you before she died that she wanted you to find someone new." Duke took a few seconds to think. He had to change the mood quickly. "Maybe women aren't the answer. Maybe you just need a banana instead of a peach."

"I know you're not saying what I think you're saying."

"What am I saying?"

"Duke, I know you're trying to help and all, but I'm not into guys."

"I'm your best friend. I've watched your daughters and listened to them sing karaoke into the early morning. It's because I'm your best friend that I know you've had crushes on me AND Snake Eyes over the past few years."

"That's different. I just have affections towards you two as friends, as my brothers. I wouldn't want to lose either one of you. You two, especially you, have become family to me," replied Roadblock honestly.

"So you've never, ever, wanted more?"

"Well, I . . . I can't say that's not true. It's crossed my mind once or twice but that's the past. I do not date men," replied Block, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared Duke down.

"Okay. Okay. It's not my intention to start an argument. It's just that . . . do you smell that?"

"Damn it, Duke," said Block as he ran to the sink to get water to add to the pot. "You made me burn my pasta sauce."

"Ooh, my bad."

"Whatever. What were you going to say?"

"Oh, I was just saying that I knew you had a few days off and I was hoping you would try to get out and maybe meet a few new people before heading down to that alien military base. But if everything is cool with you, it's cool with me. I just don't want you to have any regrets later about not getting back in the game."

"Okay, I'll give the ladies another shot but only the ladies."

"Fair enough."

"I hope so."

Duke and Roadblock gave each other dap before Duke left the makeshift kitchen. Roadblock began salvaging his pasta sauce while continuing to check his phone. He noticed one more message that hadn't been opened yet. It was from Plenty of Fish and it arrived earlier that evening. He opened it and it showed a burly fella of possibly European and Filipino decent. This had to be a mistake. Roadblock's profile distinctly said single male seeking single female. Why then was this guy sending him a message? Roadblock started scrolling past the picture. He sniggered once he read the guy's screen name – Ironhide. _Good one. _He continued to read and the profile stated that Ironhide currently resided in Virginia andthat he collected firearms as a hobby. This brought about another smile. What captured Roadblock the most was how brutally honest this guy was in his profile. The profile read as follows:

Single, lonely mech seeking another. My job and my origins make it difficult to meet new individuals. This profile is possibly my last resort. Throw an old mech a bone. Message me and maybe we can get together some time − soon.

_He's desperate, but he's honest._

The profile was short and to the point. Some of the words and phrasing sounded a bit strange, but Roadblock chalked it up to the guy possibly being a foreigner. With everything in mind, Roadblock decided to save the profile and picture. He also decided to reply to Ironhide.

Back in Virginia, Ironhide was in the rec center. He was just about to head out to the training facility when he received a message. He downloaded the new message and it read:

I'm not sure why you messaged me. My profile indicated that I was only interested in women. In any case, you had a very honest profile. You sound a lot like me. I'll be coming to Virginia in the next day or two. I was wondering if you'd like meet up, maybe have a beer, and possibly figure out why two hot guys, like us, are still single.

While Ironhide was scanning his message, Sam walked into the rec center. "Hey Ironhide, what 'cha up to?" asked Sam.

"Just reading a message. Hey Sam, what does it mean when someone says you're hot but they've never taken your temperature?"

Sam scrunched up his face in confusion. "Did someone say that in your message?"

"Yes," replied Hide. Then he read the message for clarification.

"Oh, that means sexy, attractive, appealing to the eyes. It's a compliment."

This excited Ironhide and he quickly replied back. Roadblock's phone buzzed in his pocket, alerting him to the response.

"Sorry for the oversight, but if you'd still like to meet, I'm free until Friday," the message read.

"I'm also free until Friday. So let's meet up on Wednesday. You pick the place, just give me a time." replied Block.

Almost instantaneously he received a message with an address and a time. Block smiled and simply saved the message. Ironhide, on the other hand, was overly excited.

_Guess I will be upgrading that holoform. A wash and wax for me wouldn't hurt either._

**_Chapter 3 - It's No A Date_**

Sunday and Monday shot by. It was now Tuesday afternoon and Block was preparing to leave for Virginia from Staten Island. He wanted a good night's rest before the date, though he kept telling himself it wasn't a date. _I'm just going to meet the guy. He seems cool._

"Knock. Knock," said Duke on the other side of the door before entering, "Oh, I didn't know you were heading out so soon."

"Yeah, I'm heading out a few days early because I'm meeting someone before I head to the base."

"Meeting who?" asked Duke.

"No one special. Just, uh, someone who messaged me," replied Block.

"Seriously? Was it from the dating site? What's her screen name? You gotta give me some stats before you go bro."

"Yes, yes, and his screen name is Ironhide," said Roadblock as casually as possible.

"Wait − his − screen name?" asked Duke with a smirk.

"It's not like that. I made it clear that I was seeking women on my profile but he messaged me anyway. He even apologized when I pointed out his mistake."

"So what's with the date then?"

"It's not a date. I recommended that we meet up, have a beer, and try to figure out why we're still single. He happens to be in Virginia."

"Convenient. So what does he look like?" Roadblock took out his phone and navigated to the profile picture he had saved. "You saved his picture?"

Roadblock rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, I saved the picture. No big deal."

Duke took a look at the picture. "Maybe it's not a big deal but, wow, he is. You sure you can handle all that?" asked Duke mockingly, as he punched Block in the shoulder then jumped back towards the door before Block could ring his neck. "Let me know how the non-date goes. I expect details."

"Goodbye Duke."

"Talk to you later bro."

Wednesday was finally here. Roadblock and Ironhide had about 4 hours before their get together. Ironhide was busy polishing his artillery when he remembered his weapons wouldn't be on display tonight. So he switched to perfecting his holoform, particularly its body language and expressions. Block was prepping as well. It was a quarter past six and Ironhide was expecting him at 7.

Roadblock left the hotel wearing a simple ensemble. He had on a pair of black jeans, a solid, light gray Henley, a pair of gray leather shoes, and a black leather jacket. Ironhide was leaving as well. His holoform was dressed in a pair of denim blue jeans, with a black wife-beater tank top, and a gray, zipper front, lightweight sweater. He was definitely ready for his introduction.

Ironhide arrived just 10 minutes before Roadblock. Unknown to anyone else, Ironhide was sweeping the bar and grille with his facial recognition scanner in search of his date. As soon as Roadblock entered, Ironhide waved him over.

"Sorry I'm late. I think my gps gave me the longest and slowest route here."

"No worries, I haven't been here long."

Roadblock reached out to shake Ironhide's hand. "My name is Marvin. My friends call me Roadblock."

"The nickname suits you," replied Ironhide as he reciprocated the handshake, "And you have one hell of a grip."

"Likewise, in both cases." Block smiled. "So what's your real name Ironhide?"

_Name, name, I need a human name. _Ironhide scanned the room and noticed the bartender's name tag.

"My name is Ivan, but I prefer Ironhide. Do you have a preference?"

"Yeah, just call me Roadblock."

"Works for me."

The guys drank beer, ate appetizers, and talked for hours. Their conversation about weaponry alone was more than an hour. After the evening was done, they exchanged contacts and promised to hook up in a few weeks. They would have made it sooner, but both would be very busy starting on Friday. Upon leaving the bar, each felt as if a weight had been lifted. It was like a homecoming after a long deployment.

**Chapter 4 - The New Recruit**

Roadblock arrived at the NEST base at 0800 hours. He was in full uniform and a full hour early. The soldier at the entry guard post called Captain Lennox to the gate. He would have let Roadblock in straight away but Will wanted to be there to escort the new recruit around the base. Roadblock waited and five minutes later Will and Epps were at the front gate to greet and usher him in.

"Hello, Sergeant. Glad you could make. Sorry for the slight delay, we weren't expecting you for another hour. Oh, I'm Captain William Lennox and this is Sergeant Robert Epps."

"Please to meet you both," said Roadblock as he shook both their hands. "Is everything okay Sergeant?" asked Roadblock as he noticed the questionable look Epps was giving him.

"Yeah, all is good. I apologize for starring. You just seem so familiar. Have we ever served together?" asked Epps.

"No, not to my recollection."

"Never mind then. It'll come to me."

"Shall we fellas?" asked Will.

"Lead the way, Captain," replied Roadblock.

Over the course of three and a half hours, Will and Epps had showed Roadblock around the entire base leaving the Autobot camp for last. The Autobots were well aware to be on their best behavior. They were also asked to use their alt modes until further notice.

"So Sergeant Hinton, this is the primary alien hanger. While a quarter of the base is dedicated to the aliens, this hangar is their primary base of operation."

"Really? Pardon me for saying, but it seems more like a garage with all the parked vehicles lined up in a row like they're awaiting inspections."

"These are actually some of our elite, classified, military vehicles," said Epps, "The aliens have taken a liking to them."

"Really? These are military vehicles? I could see the semi and the Hummer being utilized, but what good would a Camaro and a Pontiac be on the battlefield? "

"Don't be so quick to judge," said Will, "There's more to them than meets the eye."

Exhaust spewed from Prime's smokestacks catching everyone's attention. /That was funny. He used one of my lines/ said Prime over the comm link. The other bots were trying their best not to respond.

"So which of them suits you best?" asked Epps.

Roadblock began to walk towards the bots in disguise while Epps and Will hung back. He looked them over, one by one. Just as he was about to make his choice, another vehicle pulled into the hangar.

/Ironhide, initiate your holoform/ said Bumblebee over a private channel.

/Thanks Bee./ Ironhide's holoform materialized in the driver's seat. _Thank Primus for tinted windows. _

He parked himself in line with the others, turned off his ignition, and willed his holoform to get out the car. Hide apologized for being late, and then his eyes grew wide with shock when he finally recognized their new recruit.

"Sergeant Hinton, this is our weapons specialist, we call him −"

"Ironhide?" asked Roadblock with surprise.

"Have you two already met?" asked Will.

"Yeah, Ironhide and I met two days ago at a bar in the city," said Roadblock.

For a moment, Hide felt like he was caught with his spike in his servo. "We were just hanging out, Captain Lennox. I didn't know he was the new recruit. If there's nothing else, I really should get going. Duties and all," said Ironhide before walking out of the hangar. Once he was past the entrance, Ironhide allowed his holoform to vanish.

"So, have you made your choice?" asked Will.

Roadblock tapped Ironhide's hood and said, "I think I'm going to go with my man right here."

"Good, because that's the one we had assigned for you."

"Would you mind if I gave him an inspection?"

"Him?" asked Epps, thinking that Block had caught on to the whole alien robot thing.

"Yeah, most guys refer to their vehicles as females but this big fella is a man. I have one back home." replied Block.

"Yeah, you can check him out after we get some lunch. Epps, can you take the Sergeant to the mess hall for some lunch? I'll catch up in a minute."

"Shall we?" asked Epps.

"Lead the way. I'm starved. I haven't eaten since 0600," replied Block.

When Epps and Roadblock were out of earshot, Will began talking to the bots.

"Good job guys. If he doesn't figure you out by tonight, we'll give him a big reveal tomorrow. Oh, and great work with the holoform Hide. Will it be alright if he inspects you later?" asked Will.

"Uh . . . yeah, guess that's okay."

Old lyrics from a Teddy Pendergrass song began to play from Bee's radio. "Turn off the lights and light a candle . . ."

"Shut it, little bot," said Ironhide gruffly.

"I'm sorry, would you prefer 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga?"

Will just giggled, but he cut the conversation short before Ironhide could get upset. "Be at the mechanics hangar in 1300 hours."

"Will due," said Ironhide before quickly backing out of the hangar.

"Where do you think he's going?" asked Will to the others.

"He's probably going to polish his cannons for the hundredth time," replied Ratchet.

"You're awful quiet Big Guy. What do you think he's up to?" asked Will to Optimus.

"We all know what he's up to." They all chuckled. "I just hope it all works in his favor. He's a good bot. Rough around the edges, but no less worthy of companionship.

With that said, they all departed and Will headed for the mess hall. He, Epps, and Roadblock sat, talked, and ate for about an hour. It was now just 15 minutes before Ironhide's inspection.

**Chapter 5 - Touchy Feely Flirty**

On the way to the mechanics hangar, Will, Epps, and Roadblack ran into Sam.

"Oh my God . . . you're Roadblock, from the G.I. Joes."

"And how would you know that, young man?" asked Block.

"I have action figures of you from when I was − younger. Yeah, much younger," said Sam as he scratched his head wishing he hadn't opened his month.

"Really?" asked Roadblock with a look of confusion.

"You didn't know? After you guys were initially disbanded, Hasbro created a whole line. You, Duke, Snake Eyes – the whole crew was made. They're discontinued now that you guys are back together. Not that I was looking to buy more or anything."

"I never knew that."

"Sorry to interrupt fellas, but you need to get to that inspection," said Epps.

"Inspection? What are you inspecting?" asked Sam.

"I'm inspecting the black Topkick. It's going to be mine for the next few weeks."

"He's going to inspect Ironhide, isn't that Ratchet's jobs," asked Sam, as he looked to Epps and Will for an explanation.

"No Sam, he's inspecting Ironhide's truck and Ratchet is aware of that," said Will slowly, so it might sink in for Sam.

"Oh, so he doesn't . . . "

"No, he doesn't," said Epps.

"Am I missing something here gentlemen?" asked Roadblock with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise," said Sam before he trotted off, probably in search of Bee.

"What is that kid doing on a military base, especially one harboring aliens?" asked Block with concern as they started walking towards the mechanics hangar.

"He made first contact with the aliens and they're very protective of him," said Will.

"Really? Where did he first make contact?"

"At a used car dealership," replied Epps, "Go figure."

Block stopped in mid stride to think for a moment. This was all becoming very strange very quick. For the time being he shrugged it off and jogged to catch up with the others. When they got to the hangar, the Topkick was already parked over the auto lift.

"So how long do you need?" asked Will.

"Give me an hour or so."

"Mind if I watch," said a voice from the rear entrance.

The guys looked around the pickup to see Ironhide's holoform walking towards them.

"Ironhide, I wouldn't want you to disturb Sergeant Hinton during the inspection," said Will.

"It's cool. He may be able to answer any questions that come up," replied Block.

"Alright then, I'll see you both in an hour or so. Don't be surprised at what you find." With that, Epps and Will left, leaving Roadblock and Ironhide together.

"I hope this isn't awkward for you Roadblock. I had never expected you to be the new recruit."

"It's all good. It never dawned on me either that you could be working at this very base."

Ironhide's holoform pulled up a stool and sat by the front passenger side tire, while Block began lifting the real Hide into the air with the lift. When the Topkick was about a 7 feet in the air, Roadblock took off his jacket and beret and unbuttoned and removed his shirt.

"Are you showing off for me?"

"No, I just don't want to stain my clothes."

"If that's the case, there are some other articles you need to remove."

"Excuse me?" said Block, "I don't remember you being so forward at the bar."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Yes."

"My apologies. I'm just gonna go now."

"You can stay. Just dial back the flirting a bit."

Ironhide shook his head in agreement.

For forty five minutes, Block tinkered and he tightened. He pulled and he prodded. During one particularly spectacular point of the inspection, Block unknowingly stuck one of his hands into Ironhide's valve while simultaneously gripping his spike with the other. His interface cable even got a few hard tugs. Hide couldn't maintain his focus with all the stimulation. His holoform began flicker in and out. Luckily, Block was so engulfed in the last part of his inspection, he hadn't noticed a thing. Once Block put the interface capable back in place and removed his hand from Hide's valve, he returned the Topkick to the floor.

"This big boy's got everything," he said, "This is definitely one badass machine you've got here. And here I thought the Joes had all the good stuff."

"What did you like the most?" asked Ironhide, curious as to what Block's answer would be.

"I'm not sure I have a favorite feature. Those cannons and their attachments are damn sure impressive though."

"You look like a man who could appreciate those," said Hide as he looked Block over. Block blushed a little while wiping the auto fluids from his hands and chest. "Yeah well, I'm a heavy gunner for a reason," said Block in response. Block was becoming a bit more comfortable with the flirting. Unfortunately, the games had to end when Will returned.

"So, what 'cha think?" ask Will.

"You guys really know how to build a fleet," said Roadblock, "I'm still trying to figure out how you fit so much heavy artillery into the body frame of the pickup without it being noticeable. It's seamless. It's like magic."

"Or alien tech," replied Will. Block raised his eyebrows. He hadn't even considered that, but that would explain a lot. "You get cleaned up. There's a washroom towards the back. When you're done, I'll finally introduce you to our alien comrades.

Once Roadblock returned, all fresh and clean again, Will escorted him back to the primary hangar. Once Will and Block were gone, Hide allowed his holoform to disappear. It had taken a lot out of him to keep it together during the inspection. Now it was time to show his true form and see what Block's response would be.

Block and Will entered into the Autobot hangar and once again the vehicles were all lined up in a row with the addition of a few others.

"Roadblock, I'd like you to meet the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime."

"Autooo . . . bots." Block watched the Peterbilt semi transform. As soon as Optimus stood to full height, the hangar was abuzz with transforming robots. Ironhide had pulled up behind them, unnoticed.

"It's something to see. Isn't it?" asked Will. Will received no response. Block was too engulf in the show that was taking place.

Once they were done transforming, Will went about introducing each bot by name and their primary duties. When they were done with Bee, the last bot to be introduced, they heard an engine rev behind them. Block and Will peered over their shoulders and saw the glossy black Topkick.

"Is he one too?"

"Yes, he is."

"Well, let's see it," said Block.

"Show him your stuff Ironhide," said Will.

"Wait till you get a load of me," replied Ironhide through his radio just before he started to transform. Gears began turning and shifting. Parts appeared to be arranging and rearranging, and that distinct sound you always here when they transform, you know the one, was more prominent than usual. Ironhide finished his transformation by rotating his cannons and pointing them at Roadblock. "You wanna play?"

"I was right. You are a badass," replied Block.

"Indeed!" added Ratchet from behind. Block looked at Ratchet and then back at Ironhide.

"Wait a minute, did the Captain just call you Ironhide? I thought Ivan was Ironhide."

"Ivan just uh, he just stole my name."

"Well, it suits you both."

"Would you care for a ride," asked Ironhide.

"Sorry, Hide. Not right now. The Sergeant needs to be briefed on the upcoming mission so he can relay the info to his team when they arrive. The briefing shouldn't be too long. No more than an hour or so."

"Ohh-kayy."

/Is he actually pouting?/ asked Sideswipe.

Bumblebee shook his head in affirmation and Optimus chuckled.

/Never thought I'd see the day/ added Jazz.

Once Block was escorted from the Hangar, the Autobots began slinging jokes and ripping on Ironhide. He took most of the jokes in good nature, but after 15 minutes or so it became unbearable. So much so, he began threatening the others with utter annihilation.

"Easy Ironhide," said Optimus, "It's not often we get to get a few laughs at your expense."

"Sorry, Optimus," replied Hide as he lowered his weapons.

"We're just yanking your fan belt, Hide. We're all rooting for you."

"Thanks, Bee."

**Chapter 6 - Roadblock Ahead**

More than an hour had past and Roadblock was still in the conference center with Captain Lennox. The briefing was over but Block had tons of questions at the end.

"Let's finish this conversation over dinner in the mess hall," said Will.

"Sounds good. You've already answered most of the important stuff anyone. I do have one or two more inquiries though."

"Shoot," said Will as they walked from the conference room across the base to the dining hall.

"I know I chose Ironhide as my vehicle of choice, but that was before I knew he was a living being. Are these Autobots reliable? Can I trust them enough to relinquish control and allow them to make decisions? Frankly, I'm used to driving the vehicle, not the vehicle driving itself or me for that matter."

"We were skeptical too, believe me. But we saw them sacrifice their world for ours. You can definitely count on them, without a doubt. They do make mistakes, but who doesn't?"

"That puts me at ease. I wouldn't want any member of my team put in more danger than they already are. Now, my last question may seem silly, but I have to ask it," said Block to Will. "Is Ivan attached to Ironhide?"

"Excuse me?" asked Will.

"Everywhere I see Ironhide I tend to see Ivan – or vice versa. For instance, at the bar where we met, that same Topkick was in the parking lot. I remember the license plate. It's kinda eerie now that I think about it. There was an alien in the parking lot of a bar."

"They say that the freaks come out at night."

"Really Captain? Anyway, each time that I've come in contact with Ironhide today, Ivan was soon there. I mean, if he's used to working with Ironhide, I can team up with another Autobot."

Will had to think of an explanation. Roadblock wasn't aware that Ivan and Ironhide were one in the same. How could he not spill the beans and yet not lie to the new recruit.

"Ivan and Ironhide are inseparable but both seem to have taken a liking to you. I don't think there will be any problems. Personally, I think they have a thing for you," said Will.

"Is that sort of thing okay here?"

"Sergeant Hinton, here at NEST, we live and fight alongside alien robots. We've come to realize there are far more important things to be concerned with than people's personal lives," said Will, "Eat up. When we're done here, I'll show you to your quarters."

"Sounds like a plan."

Another hour had past. Block was now resting in his quarters and Will was presently relaying Roadblock's questions to Ironhide in the Autobot rec center.

"Hide, you going to have to find a way to let him know that Ivan isn't a real person. You can't expect to build any sort of friendship if you let this go on too long. If for nothing else, we need him and his team as allies and allies must have trust in each other."

"I know. I know. But how do I go about it without messing up everything? Relationships are not my strong suit."

"Talk to Bee, he's done it. Talk to Sam. Talk to Optimus. I don't know. But you've got to think of something quick.

"I know. I know," said Ironhide before transforming into his alt mode.

Will tapped him on the hood and said, "Good luck."

Ironhide beeped his horn in thanks and drove out of the center to find someone to talk to. Lucky for him, Sam and Bee were just chillin' outside on the grass, by the dorm hanger, enjoying the cool breeze. He transformed again back into his bipedal mode and approached them.

"Hey, you mind if I join you two?"

"You okay Hide, you don't seem like yourself," asked Bee.

"Well, I have a problem that I need to solve really quickly. But I have no idea how to solve it."

"What's the issue?" asked Sam.

"I like someone, but I don't know if he will like me, as I am, in the same way."

"You talkin' about Roadblock?" asked Sam with a knowing smile.

"Yes"

"He already seems to like you," said Bee, "He was impressed when he saw you transform."

"I know he likes my holoform and he likes my alt mode and he even seems to like me," said Hide as he made a sweeping gesture indicating he was talking about his bipedal mode. "The problem is he doesn't know that the holoform is not a real person. He doesn't know it's me."

"Ohhh," said Sam.

"Yeah. So what should I do?"

"The only thing you can do. Just tell him. I mean, do it tactfully but tell him the truth. Right now, you really don't have anything to lose. If you become friends and you don't tell him and he finds out, you could lose a friend."

"Not to mention, if you don't tell him soon, you could compromise our mission," chimed in Bee.

"Yes, everyone's been telling me that. Guess I better start devising a plan."

"Good luck," said Sam and Bee, as they went back to enjoying each other and the scenery.

Hide spent most of the evening devising his plan. He figured it would be best to take Roadblock on joyride in the country, not too far from the base. It would be far enough away from the city so that he could expose Roadblock to every facet of himself. You know, get Roadblock more comfortable with him. Then, on their way back to the base, after a day of fun, he'd come clean.

It was 0700 the following morning. Block didn't have any plans or duties, so he just remained in bed. He was just about to continue his reading of the alien archive papers given to him by Captain Lennox when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"Sorry to disturb you Sergeant,"

"Please, Captain, call me Block."

"Then call me Will. Anyway, someone's been waiting since yesterday to take you on a ride and he wouldn't stop bugging me this morning. He's brought along a friend."

Block took a peek out of the window and saw Ironhide, all shiny and clean, and Ivan sticking his head out of the passenger window and waving for him to come on. Block opened the window and yelled, "Give me fifteen minutes to throw something on."

"I hope you all have fun," said Will while shaking his head before leaving Block's quarters.

Block was indeed dressed and ready to go in 15 minutes. He was just about to open the passenger door when Ivan told him to take the driver's seat. Ironhide opened the door for him and Block hopped in without hesitation.

"You seem confortable," said Ivan.

"I have one back home. Granted, my isn't an alien robot," said Block while stroking the Autobot insignia on the steering wheel.

"That tickles," said Ironhide from the stereo.

"Sorry," said Block, "Do I need to do anything to get you going?"

"Not at all, but if you want to feel around and test things out you certainly can."

"Okay, Hide, stop flirting with the new recruit," said Ivan to himself.

Block just laughed and turned on the ignition. Once they were off the base, he let Ironhide take over, since he had no idea where they were going. The drive took about 45 minutes to an hour. Ironhide parked when they finally arrived at his favorite creek. It was surrounded by large oak trees and was essentially free of human disturbance.

"I figured we'd come out here, play with some heavy artillery in the clearing over there, have some lunch, and then head back," said Ironhide via the radio.

"Sounds good. I've definitely wanted to see those cannons in action. How about you, Ivan? You've been quiet. What's your favorite piece of equipment?"

"I tend to carry an M-16 but I really don't have a favorite. I just like hearing things go boom." Block laughed out loud and shook his head back and forth. "What's your favorite?" asked Ivan.

"For me, it's definitely the M2 Browning machine gun."

"Damn, doesn't it require a squad to carry that thing?" asked Ivan.

"Or just me."

"And you call me badass," said Ironhide who was now in his bipedal mode, standing behind his holoform. "So what'll we do first."

Ironhide, Ivan, and Block were out for hours. Block had so many questions for the both of them. Once their initial bull session was over, they practiced target shooting, played a few simulation games, and even took a dip in the creek.

"Now that was a stupid move."

"What was a stupid move?" asked Ironhide.

"Jumping into the creek. I didn't bring any spare clothes with me," said Block.

"Here, let me help," said Hide as he extended his servo out to Block, "Hop on."

Block was reluctant. It's just that he felt like a bug in comparison to Ironhide and Ironhide wasn't even the tallest of the Autobots. Nevertheless, he eventually stepped onto the gigantic mechanical hand. This pleased Ironhide tremendously. There was hope yet. He brought Block up to his chest and turned on the heat. His fans began to spin, blowing the hot air towards Roadblock's drenched body. It only took about a minute and Block was completely dry. His head was a little red from all heat, but all was good. Then Ironhide lowered him back down.

"Hey, where's Ivan. It's time for lunch," asked Block.

During his little intimate blow drying session with Block, Ironhide had forgotten to keep Ivan activated.

"Maybe he went to take a leak," replied Ironhide.

"Speaking of that, I need to take one myself. Be right back."

This gave Ironhide the chance he needed to reactivate Ivan. As Block was returning, so was Ivan from behind a tree.

"Oh, there you are. You hungry?" asked Block.

"Yeah, I can go for something. Let's spread everything out and see what we got," said Ivan.

"Didn't you pack it?" asked Block.

"No, I just grabbed a few prepackaged meals without really looking. Hopefully I picked something good," replied Ivan.

After 20 minutes everyone was full and relaxed. Ironhide was sitting back against a tree in his bipedal form with an energon stick in one hand and a cube of high-grade in another. Ivan was sitting on Ironhide's left pede and Block was lying in the grass next to them. Ironhide closed his optics, pretending to be in a stasis-nap. He wanted his holoform to strike up a conversation with Block and he wanted Roadblock to speak honestly.

"So what do you think of my man here?" asked Ivan to Roadblock while pointing up at Ironhide.

Block looked up at Hide and saw that his optics were shut. "Do they actually sleep?" asked Block.

"Yeah, we all need our rest, humans and Autobots alike. Now back to then first question."

"He's great. It'll be quite an adventure just working with him. If I were an Autobot, he'd probably be one of my closest friends and rival for that matter. Never thought I'd have so much in common with an alien," said Block as he sipped his beer. "Hell, I never thought you and I would have so much in common either."

Block looked over at Ivan and Ivan realized that he was starring. "Is somthing wrong?" asked Ivan.

"Are you wearing colored contacts because I swore you had dark colored eyes? Now, they're the most electrifying shade of blue I've ever seen. They almost look like Hide's."

"Well, I uh . . . you know . . . like to change up my look," replied Ivan.

"You need some water? Your voice sounds dry. In fact, it also seems similar to Ironhide's. I mean, his is a bit more gravely and deep, but it's similar. Now that I think about it, you two have similar names as well - Ivan Hides and Ironhide."

"All that can be explained, really. It's just complicated," replied Ivan.

"How so, is Hide your guardian or something? Are you under some sort of government protection? Did you need to change your identity?"

"Something sorta like that. They say you become like the people you're around and well, me and Hide are just really close, you know."

"How close? Do you two have some sort of thing going on?" whispered Block to Ivan.

"No, no, nothing like that."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone there. That was way too personal. It's just that I heard through the grapevine that Bee and Sam are in a relationship. God only knows how that's possible. I'm just trying to put this all together. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying myself, but things just seem a little off. That's what my gut is telling me."

"First, if Hide and I were dating, why would I continue to flirt with you?" asked Ivan.

"I guess you wouldn't."

"Secondly, you'll have to ask Sam and Bee about their relationship. I don't like sharing other people's business."

"Fair enough."

_It's now or never, Hide._

"As for my identity, it's complicated. I'll try my best to explain it but first I have a few personal questions for you." Block watched as Ivan rolled off of Ironhide's foot and crawled towards him. He watched as those electric blue eyes drew closer. Ivan lied down on his side, facing Block. He then took his thumb and ran it across Block's chin. Block felt his nature rise quickly. Until now, only two men had ever evoked such a response and they weren't here. "You know, I think Hide has a thing for you. In fact, I know he does. How does that make you feel?"

"It's . . . flattering, but it would never work. He's an alien robot. Secondly, I don't date men of any species. I might flirt occasionally but I'm not really attracted to them," replied Block while trying to will the woodie in his pants to go down. The same woodie that Ivan gripped with his big hand. The same hard-on that Ivan was now firmly squeezing through Block's cargo pants.

"You certainly feel like you're attracted to me, to us." Then Ivan inhaled deeply, taking in the aroma of Block's sweat and pheromones. "You smell like you're attracted to me, to us." Then he leaned over and kissed Block squarely on the mouth. Roadblock reciprocated briefly but quickly pulled back. "Why don't you try being honest, Roadblock? It'll make it easier for me to be honest."

"Okay. I am attracted to you. Now why do you keep saying 'us'? " asked Roadblock as he started to move away from Ivan and stand to his feet. Ivan stood as well and approached Block again. He was standing so close he was almost brushing Block's erection with his own.

"What if I told you there is a way for you and Hide to comingle, to be more than friends? What if I told you that I was that conduit? What if I told you that Hide and I are one and the same?"

"What?!"

It was at this time that Hide decided to stop his fake stasis, open his optics, and speak for himself.

"Ivan is what we call a holoform. He's my way of interacting with humans, as a human. I can activate and deactivate him at will." At that point Hide caused Ivan to vanish and reappear. "Whatever the holoform is engaged in I feel and experience. I know what soda pop and beer taste like. I've had human food. I've engaged in various human interaction like sports and now I know what it feels like to touch and kiss a human. It's nice."

Block, always the professional, did his best to remain calm but it didn't work. "You tricked me you son of a bitch." Block charged Ivan and gave him a fierce blow to the gut, knocking him to the ground. "I hope you can feel that because that's what I feel like," said Block as he looked up at Ironhide, no fear in his heart whatsoever. "You were all in on this, weren't you? You and your whole damn NEST team. I don't know what you have going on here, but there's no way I'm bringing my team here to help a bunch of untrustworthy pricks," said Block before he began to storm off. Where he was going, he had no damn clue. He could call back to Joe base and request an escort back home, but he wasn't ready to explain this mess to them either.

"Please wait. Don't take it out on NEST or the other bots. They didn't know about the date at first. I didn't even know you were coming to my base. Remember? This wasn't some elaborate scheme. I'm really not that smart."

Block turned around and starred up at Ironhide. How was it possible for such a giant, hard-shelled, war-machine like Ironhide to look so sad and pitiful? Roadblock said nothing. He just turned back around and continued to walk down the dirt path towards the main dirt road. He heard Ironhide transform behind him. Then Hide pulled up alongside him and opened the driver side door.

"Please, get in. It's almost an hour drive back to base. It would take much too long for you to walk," said Ivan from inside.

""Fine, but I don't ever want you to speak about today's events and get rid of this," said Block pointing to Hide's holoform. Instantly, Ivan blinked out of existence and Block sat alone, in silence, all the way back to the NEST base.

**Chapter 7 - What To Do Now**

Several days had passed since Ironhide's confession. Unfortunately, there was still nothing to do and nowhere to be. The other Joes wouldn't arrive until tomorrow, so Block still had idle time. Idle time meant an idle mind and that wasn't a good place for him to be right now. He just continued to lie in bed and ponder his ordeal. A week ago his only problems were Cobra Commander and making a decent tomato sauce for his pasta. Now he's dealing with the fact that extraterrestrials exist and one has the hots for him.

It was quiet in his quarters and nothing was going on outside. He began to dose off and his mind was free to drift. Visions of their little road trip came flashing back._'You feel like you're attracted to me. You smell like you're attracted to me. What if? . . . What if? . . . What if?' _

The mental battle had begun again and Block shot up from the bed. _That's the problem. There's too many what ifs. I shouldn't even be considering this. _Block went to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face, and then starred into the mirror.

_Maybe I should be considering this. _

_Am I that desperate? He's a damn robot. "_I want a human partner," said Roadblock aloud, "I'll take either gender at this point."

_Funny, a week and half ago I was unwilling to consider anyone. What changed? _

_Damn, I just had to reply to that message. _

_It was good thing that you replied to that message. How many people get this opportunity? _

_" _When did this become some great opportunity?" he asked himself.

_Remember the bar? Remember the flirting? Remember his lips and those big hands. _

"SHIT!"

_He looked, spoke, and felt like a human. He even drove a truck like mine. I was none the wiser. I totally fell for it. _

_Damn._

Block was pulled away from his mental tirade when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Hello,"

"Hey Block, it's Duke. I decided to come a day early. I should be on the base in about two hoursd. Meet me at the front gate to show me around."

"I think it's required that Captain Lennox escort you around."

"I know the necessary protocols. I am the second in command, above you," said Duke jokingly, "I've already spoken with the Captain. He's signed off on it, so you're free and clear."

"Okay, see you soon."

Back on the Autobot side of the base, Ironhide was still sulking. Everyone, except for Ratchet and Optimus, had stayed clear because a sulking Ironhide was an ill-tempered Ironhide. With nothing else better to do, Ironhide had been shooting off his weapons and blowing things up for days. At least he hadn't reverted to getting drunk off the High-grade. That would have made things far worse.

"Should I administer a hypo to calm your mood?" asked Ratchet.

"Ratch, not now. I just want to blow off some steam."

"You've blown up enough. The humans are starting to complain."

"Ahh, who gives an frag what they think? Haven't we done enough for them? What have they done for us lately?" retorted Ironhide with a snarl.

"They've provided us with refuge," replied Optimus from behind Ironhide.

"We could have taken the planet. It was an option," replied Ironhide gruffly to the Prime.

"Ironhide, what is with you?" asked Optimus, "Ever since your little day trip with Sergeant Hinton, you've been biting everyone's head off. Notice how no one wants to be around you."

Optimus' last statement hit Ironhide hard. Ratchet and Optimus watched as Ironhide slumped against a tree, then slid down and sat on the dirt.

"Ironhide, you need to talk to us and let us know what's going on."

"Ratchet is right. We can't help unless you let us in on the problem."

"I'm sure you and everyone else already know the problem," replied Ironhide.

"We have theories, but no facts," replied Ratchet.

"We know it has to do with Sergeant Hinton. So tell us. What happened?" commanded Optimus.

Ironhide reluctantly told them everything from beginning to end. He left no event untold.

"He actually assaulted you?" asked Ratchet, a little miffed at the Sergeant.

"The holoform actually, but I felt it. I was literally hit by a Roadblock. He packs a hell of a punch, for a human. Thank Primus he isn't Cybertronian."

"As far as the big picture, things could have fared far worse. He's still here and willing to work with us. The Decepticons are gaining in numbers and we need the help. As for your personal situation, you can't go on hiding and blowing things up. Be a mech and try making amends," replied Optimus.

"And this time, try keeping your holohands to yourself," said Ratchet.

"So what are you gloing to do?" asked Optimus.

"Honestly, I think I need too speak with Bee." answered Hide.

"Well comm him. I'm sure he'll be willing to help. Keep us posted," said Optimus as he and Ratchet walked away.

/Hide to Bee. Come in Bee./

/Hi Ironhide. What can I do for you?/

/If you have a few minutes, would you mind meeting me in my quarters in about 10 kliks. I think I may need your help./

When be arrived, Hide began explaining the situation. If anyone could offer some advice on this particular topic, it was Bee.

"Could Sergeant Hinton be homo or robo-phobic," asked Bee.

"No, I really don't think he is. He didn't seem to mind the idea of you and Sam, nor me and Ivan before he knew the truth. I think he's personally just used to humans, woman in particular."

Bee offered a brilliant idea, it wasn't guaranteed to work, but it was his best chance at salvaging any sort of connection with Roadblock.

"We need to expose him to more human to robot interactions and more male to male interactions. Sam is stopping by today. He should be here soon. Maybe seeing us together as a couple will help. We'll expose him to simple things like holding hands, maybe a kiss, or Sam washing my alt mode. Basic stuff.

"I'm not sure."

"What other options do you have?"

"Guess you're right, youngling."

Bee smiled and placed his servo on Ironhide's shoulder. "I'll let you know when Sam gets here."

"Thanks Bee."

Back on the other side of base, Roadblock was heading out to meet Duke at the gate when he got another call.

"Hello."

"Hey, Block. I got caught up with last minute paper work. I won't be there until early this evening. Probably around 6."

"Okay, at least you'll be in time for dinner. We'll catch up then."

"See you soon," said Duke before ending the call.

_Now what do I do? _He decided to head to the dining hall. On his way there he ran into Will and Epps.

"Hey Sergeant, how's things going?" asked Epps.

"Fine."

"How was the day trip with Ironhide?" asked Will.

"Fine."

"So everything is fine is what you're saying?" asked Epps.

"Yeah, everything's peachy. Since you brought up Ironhide, I was wondering if I could work with someone else."

"Why? Is there a problem?" asked Will.

_Do I really want to tell them I was fondled by a robot? "_No, uh, it's just that some of the other Joes may be more suitable for him."

"Oh, in that case, you can discuss that with Ironhide directly. We don't make those decisions for them. As you've learned, they have minds and preferences of their own. Not to mention, Ironhide seems comfortable with you. Just talk to him."

"Will do. If there's nothing else, I'm gonna go get some lunch."

"Enjoy your lunch. We'll talk later," replied Will.

Block resumed his trek to the dining hall. He was walking along at a leisurely pace, just a few meters from the hall, when he noticed Sam and a friend lying on the hood of a yellow Camaro. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed the black Topkick was there with them.

"Here he comes you two. Hide, you may want to take off and leave us to work our magic," said Sam, "He may not approach us if you're here. We'll try to fix that for you."

Hide agreed and Roadblock watched from the distance as the black pickup drove away, heading back towards the Autobot side of the base. _So it was him. _He continued to walk towards the mess hall. He ignored Sam and his friend, knowing in his gut that the car they were lying on was another Autobot in disguise. Unfortunately, they didn't choose to ignore him.

"Hey, Sergeant Hinton. Do you prefer to be called Sergeant Hinton or Roadblock? I like Roadblock. It suits you."

"Roadblock is fine. Sam, isn't it?"

'Yeah, you actually remembered my name. That's so cool. Are you heading in for lunch?"

"Yeah, anything good in there?"

"Surprisingly, the answer is yes. They have pizza today."

"That'll work. So, who's your friend?" Block had a pretty good idea. Bee's holoform sat up from the hood and his blue optics twinkled.

"Oh, it's just Bee. I think you've met. Right?" asked Sam looking from Ironhide to Bumblebee.

"Yes, we've met. Just not in this form," said Bee as he extended his hand to Roadblock. Block shook his hand not wanting to make a scene or cause any animosity. He didn't know whether or not Bee and Sam knew about his situation with Ironhide.

"So, I'm assuming that was Ironhide who pulled off."

"Yeah, he's probably heading back to our side of the base. He's hasn't been himself lately. We were trying to get him to chill out a bit," said Bee as he deliberately moved his hand up and down Sam's thigh. Block couldn't help but to notice.

"Well, I'm going to get some of that pizza now. See you guys later."

"That wasn't too bad of a response," said Sam after Block had disappeared into the building. "Comm Hide and tell him to come back with his holoform -ASAP. This may be the best time for him to talk with Roadblock. I doubt the Sergeant will want to make a scene in a public space."

Block had just gotten to the head of the line. Once he received his pizza and drink, he found a small table towards the back of the hall and sat alone by one of the windows. After eating his first slice, he notice Bee and Sam were still hanging out. He watched them play a quick game of checkers. Bee won. He watched them eat lunch together. He even watched them share a peck on the lips before returning to their leisure sun worshipping session on Bee's hood. Then he saw Ironhide. Block saw him pull up behind Bee. Before Block could gather up his mess and leave the hall, there was a familiar voice in his ear.

"Can we talk?" asked Ironhide via his holoform.

"Talk all you like. Doesn't mean I have to listen," said Block before standing.

"Please. Sit," the holoform had a firm hand on Roadblock's shoulder. Block looked at his shoulder, then back at holoform, and Hide knew to remove his hand. "Sorry."

Ironhide plead his case for several minutes. He was trying his best to get through to Roadblock.

"You don't know how much of an asset I could be to you. I've scanned your file. I know you lost your wife and you have two daughters. I could be a guardian to your daughters. I could look over you and your household. I could be a friend like no other."

"You want something more than friendship." That was Block's first and only response during Hide's entire spiel.

"That is true. But I'd take friendship over nothing at all. What do want me to be?"

Block took a moment to stare out the window. Sam and Bee were gone, but the Topkick was stilled parked outside. Funny, Hide appeared to have lost some of his glossy shine, since the road trip. Before Block could answer, his phone vibrated on the table.

"We'll have to discuss this at a later time. I have some business to attend to."

Hide shook his head in defeat. He sat there for a minute as he watched Roadblock leave the hall. When no one was looking, the holoform vanished. Block was on his cell with Duke when he exited the hall. As he was leaving the area, he looked back at the black pick up and he knew Ironhide was looking back at him.

"You won't believe the days I've been having!"

**Chapter 8 - Friendly Advice**

Duke was actually arriving in about 30 minutes. That gave Roadblock enough time to walk from the dining hall, to his quarters, and then to the guard post at the entry gate. On the way from his quarters, for the second time that day, he ran into Sam and Bee.

"Where's your friend?" asked Block.

"Right here," replied Sam while taking a soapy sponge to Bee's bumper.

"I'm meant the holoform."

"Oh, I'm giving Bee a break. It takes a lot of energy to keep those holoforms running without a glitch. Not to mention, I haven't washed him in a while."

"Can't he do that himself?"

"Yes, I can and I do," chimed in Bee, "It just feels so much better when Sam does it."

"And you don't mind?!" ask Roadblock to Sam.

Sam understood the totality of Block's question. "Look, until a year ago, I didn't know aliens existed. When life shows you a new construct, a new dimension, something you've never seen, you have to change your view. Why continue to live in black and white, when there's a whole new rainbow of colors being shown to you."

"Wow Sam, that was deep," said Bee.

"I know, right? I don't know where it came from, but I was on a roll there for a minute. So Block, where are you headed to now?" asked Sam.

"To the main gate. One of my friends is arriving early. I'll see you guys later."

Block arrived at the main gate as Duke was pulling up in the government issued black sedan. He was really eager to see Duke. Sam's words were deep and they made sense, but he needed a second opinion from someone he knew and trusted. Just how he would explain the situation was something he hadn't figured out yet.

"Nice size base, it looks nothing like the Pit," said Duke.

"It's nothing like home, but it has aliens and we don't."

"So have you come in contact with any of them?"

"I've actually met quite a few of them. Even went on day trip with one."

"How did you pull that off without being noticed? You'll find out soon enough. You hungry?"

"Are you allowed to cook here?"

"No, I don't have clearance for that. But I can take you down to the dining hall. They may still have pizza from lunch. Otherwise, it's about an hour and a half before dinner."

"I can wait. So show me around the place and let's see those aliens."

Block and Duke strolled around the base. Duke was catching Block up on the happenings around Joe headquarters and Block shared all the information from the briefing he had with Captain Lennox on his first day.

"So you never told me what happen on your date. I mean your non-date."

"Well, I met the guy at a local bar and grill in the city. We pretty much just spent the evening drinking, eating, and talking about our lack of love lives."

"So are you interested in meeting him again?" asked Duke.

"I already have. He works here."

"On this base?"

"On this base. Somehow that little tidbit of information never came up."

"What are the odds?"

"Yeah, what−are−the−odds?" said Roadblock while shaking his head back and forth.

"So when do I get a formal introduction?"

"You don't."

"Come on Block. I'll be on my best behavior. I just wanna see if you two are a good match."

"Good match for what?"

"Do you really want me to spell it out?"

"No I don't. Besides, he's not here right now."

Block rarely ever lied to Duke, but he felt this case warranted a little bending of the truth. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on his side. Block saw the Topkick coming up the road towards the front gate and it stopped directly in front of the guard post.

"Block. Roadblock. MARVIN!"

"Huh? Sorry. What were you saying?"

"What just grabbed your attention because you totally zoned out on me?" asked Duke as he looked over his shoulder. Duke recognized Ironhide, the holoform at least, from the profile picture. Ironhide must have seen them from a distance and activated it just in time. Duke turned back around, grinned at Block, and said, "Looks like he's available now. Care to introduce us?"

Block watched the guard clear Ironhide for entry. Ironhide rolled up alongside them with his holoform in the driver's seat. Ironhide rolled down the window and the holoform greeted the two. "Good evening Sergeant Hinton. Who's your guest?"

"Sergeant Ivan Hides this is Captain Conrad Hauser of the GI Joes."

"Pleasure to meet you Sergeant Hides. Most people refer to me as Duke. We Joes don't care much about formalities."

"In that case, please call me Ironhide," replied the holoform, "Well, time to head back to my quarters. Have a good evening, gentlemen."

"Before you go," said Block while addressing the holoform but placing his hand on Ironhide's hood, "You mind rounding up some of the others. Duke here has yet to meet the rest of your squad."

"Will do, Roadblock. We'll be in the main hanger in about 10 minutes." Hide beeped his horn and pulled off.

Block and Duke began walking towards the Autobot side of the base.

"Well, he seems like he could be your type, even if it's only platonic. By the way, what's his purpose?"

"Purpose?"

"You know. Is he good at intelligence gathering, computers, strategic planning. What's his specialty?"

Block sighed and said, "He's the weapons specialist."

"Ohh yeah, he's definitely your type," said Duke as he slapped Block on the back twice.

It took them about 15 minutes to get to the Autobot conference hanger. When they arrived six bots were present in their alt modes, each with his or her holoform. Since the holoforms were present, Block began by introducing them.

"Duke, I'd like you to meet Bumblebee, Sideswipe, Arcee, and Roadbuster. You've already met Ironhide and this is their leader, Optimus Prime."

"Cool names, you'd all fit right in with the Joes. Are you a special squad within NEST?" asked Duke to Optimus.

"Yes, we are an elite core. There are a few others whom you'll meet soon. We hope you'll find everything satisfactory. The more allies we gain the fewer enemies we'll have."

"So have any of you been in direct contact with the aliens while working with NEST?" asked Duke.

Optimus played along. "We're always in contact with them. In fact, they're here now."

"Really?" Duke began looking around the hanger trying to find evidence of the aliens. "Is this a joke?"

"You're looking too hard," replied Block, "They're hiding in plain sight."

"Come on, stop playing with me. Are the aliens here or not?"

"Alright everybody, time to do your thing," said Block.

All the holoforms stepped to the side and the bots began to transform.

"O−M−G! You gotta be kiddin' me."

"Makes you wonder about that old Volkswagen your dad had that made all the noise, doesn't it?" asked Block.

Duke just stood there for another few minutes with his hand over his mouth. He was totally floored. When he finally came to himself, he walked over to the holoform of the only femme bot and said, "It must be thrilling to drive one of them. Knowing what they truly are."

Arcee responded, "We don't just drive them, we are –"

"Their caretakers," blurted Ironhide's holoform, "We take care of them and in return they guard over us." Optimus quickly spoke with Arcee over a private link and brought her up to speed on Ironhide's situation.

"Well, we should be going. Thanks again everybody," said Block.

The Autobots transformed back into their alt modes while Block and Duke made their way out of the Hangar. Before exiting, they took a look back. The only one left was Ironhide.

"What's up with that one? Is he on lookout patrol or something?"

"He does handle a lot of their security, but it isn't that. I'll explain everything after dinner."

two hours later, dinner was done and they were back at Block's quarters.

"Okay, time to spill it. You've been holding out on me and that's not like you."

"You're noy going to believe this. It's just so convoluted, but here goes."

"I'm all ears."

"Well, what if I told you that the people you met earlier in the alien hanger weren't really humans?"

"After what I've seen so far, anything is possible. Does Ivan know?"

"You're not getting it. What if I told you that Ivan is an alien?"

"Oh God, you went on a date with an alien? Wait until the guys hear about this. Of all the people you could have picked, you pick an alien." Duke started to laugh.

"He messaged me first."

"Even better."

"That's not all. Ivan and the others you met are really just projections used by the robots to interact with humans. They call these projections, holoforms." Block continued and told Duke everything. He told him about the whole rendezvous at the creek and he even told him about Sam and Bee. "So, what would you do?" asked Roadblock.

"I don't know, Block. I couldn't have dreamt this up if someone paid me. The only person who can relate is the kid. What's his name again?"

"Sam."

"Yeah, Sam. I must admit he gave a really good argument for going for it. The thing is Block, I don't know what was going through your mind when he kissed you and then revealed himself. I don't know how you felt. I don't know what fears you have. This is completely foreign territory. I'm pretty sure that people like you and Sam are referred to as pioneers."

"Pioneer, I feel like a damn fool."

"Comes with the territory. There is one important fact that you've probably glossed right over."

"Which is?"

"If you do decide to take Ironhide up on his offer, no one ever has to know he's an alien. He fooled you. Hell, he doesn't even have to be a man. You did notice that there was a female halo, holo −."

"Holoform."

"Yeah, holoform. There was a female holoform in that hangar."

"You're right, but I can't ask him to do that. He seems to prefer taking the form of a man."

"And you prefer it too. Don't you? You like 'Ivan'." Block just looked at Duke with pursed lips. "That's okay. You don't have to say a word. Your silence says it all." Duke was so on point that Block couldn't keep eye contact with him. He just stared down at the table – thinking. When he finally looked up again, Duke was smiling with amusement. "So have you made a decision? It's your move."

"Remotes are by the TV. I'll be back."

**Chapter 9 - Decision Time**

Block began his trek to the Autobot side of the base. The sun was long gone and the base was now illuminated with florescent lights. He stopped at the main hanger first. He peeked in, but only Sideswipe was present. Then he tried their training facility. Hide could have been practicing or training students. Nope, no one was there. Then he found the rec center, which he hadn't visited before. He could hear numerous voices on the inside and that made him a bit nervous. He was about to enter when he heard heavy footsteps and a soft voice.

"Good evening, Sergeant Hinton. Are you looking for Ironhide?" asked Bee as he approached in his bipedal form.

"Hi Bumblebee. Yes, I am looking for Ironhide. Do you know where I can find him?"

"I just left him. He's in his quarters. If you go into the dorm hangar down there, his room is last one on the left."

"Thanks Bee."

"You are welcome," said Bee as he left Roadblock and entered into rec center.

Block followed Bee's instructions and found himself outside of Ironhide's quarters. He took a deep breath and knocked firmly on the door.

"Who the slag is it?" yelled Ironhide, "Can't you read the sign. There better be a Decepticon attack in progress." When Ironhide opened the door he was quite surprised to see Sergeant Hinton on the other side.

"Sorry, but I can't read Cybertronian."

"Roadblock − you're the last person I had expected. Please, come in." Roadblock walked in and was overwhelmed. He felt like a dwarf in comparison to Ironhide. "Pardon the mess. Been a little preoccupied lately," said Ironhide while scratching his helm.

"Yeah, well, so have I."

"What can I do for you Sergeant?" Hide didn't know whether to be formal or informal.

"I'm not quite sure yet. Would you mind taking a walk with me outside?"

"Sure. I guess. If that's what you want."

Hide and Block left the dorm hanger and began heading towards a less crowded area of the base. Considering their height difference and thus there difference in walking stride, Hide offered to carry Roadblock. Block wasn't having it. Instead, he allowed Hide to use his alt mode and drive him instead. When they reached the more secluded area, Hide transformed and he and Block took seats on a patch of grass. There was silence for several minutes. Ironhide was the first to speak.

"Sergeant . . . Roadblock − you requested my company for a reason. Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Do you know how unsettling and bizarre this is?" asked Block while pulling up grass from the dirt.

"Yes, I do."

"Do you really? I'm a human talking to an alien robot −a male alien robot who contacted me via an online dating website where I was seeking single human woman."

"I understand because I'm an autonomous robotic organism talking to an alien human – a male human who I contacted via an online dating site because I was . . ."

Hide didn't finish his sentence. His optics dimmed and he began fiddling with the transformation seams on his forearms.

"Because you were what?" asked Block.

"I don't like to admit it, but even an old, hard-shelled bot, like me, gets desperate and lonely. The war has only exacerbated the problem. There are so few of us left and even fewer who are not already bonded. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop my spark from wanting companionship." Hide took a moment to recall his decision to contact Roadblock and continued by saying, "I shouldn't have gone on that website at all, but I chose to make a very ballsy move when I contacted you. I know I should have paid more attention to your profile than your picture but hey, sometimes I'm superficial. Now you know. "

Block cracked a smile. A compliment was a compliment, despite the nonsensical nature of the circumstances.

"You're not bad yourself."

"You just like me for my holoform and alt mode," replied Hide in jest.

"Indeed I do," said Block as he looked up at Hide.

"Wait, really? You're not just fraggin' with me are you? Do you really like them?"

"You are impressive in all your modes. I do have to get used to this one, but keep in mind that I chose your alt mode out of all the others and that was before you transformed. I also paid you the most compliments after you transformed." Block started playing with the grass again, uncertain of whether to continue. "And, I can't believe I'm telling you this, but there have only been three guys who I've ever been physically attracted to in my life and your holoform is one of them."

"Does that mean what I hope it means?"

Block noticed a change in Ironhide's voice. He looked up from the grass and Ivan, Hide's holoform, was sitting between them.

"Yes, I want to give this a try. I'll be here for at least a month. If it doesn't work out during this trial run, then we'll part ways and that will be that. If it does, well, we'll figure something out. And Hide, you don't always have to use Ivan. I can talk to you as you really are."

"There is no Ivan. There's only Hide now. Remember that all of these forms are one being, me. I'm using the holoform because it makes you comfortable. It's the least I can do. Since we're being honest, I've enjoyed our human experiencestogether and I would like to continue what I started before, if I may," said Hide before licking his bottom lip and placing his hand on Roadblock's thick thigh.

"I think I have a lust bot on my hands."

Hide made a grumble of a laugh and then placed his lips on Roadblock's neck. Hide kissed up his neck, then down his cheek, and finally he made his way to Block's mouth. When Block felt Hide getting a little too domineering, he decided to show that he was no bitch. He pried the holoform's hands from off his body and Hide took it as a challenge. Block's actions triggered a wrestling match for domination between him and Hide right there on the ground. The only thing that could have made the match sexier was if the two were covered in baby oil.

"You're letting me win, aren't you?" asked Block as he wrestled Hide down onto his stomach.

"No, I never throw matches. You're just good at this and we're pretty evenly matched, at least while I'm a holoform," said Hide.

They continued to struggle on the dirt and grass for a few more minutes. Both were getting fatigued. In Ironhide's case, it was taking a lot of energy to keep the holoform intact. "Tap out and we can continue with other things," said Block. Hide tapped out and was told to roll over on his back. Then Block reached out and placed his hands on the chest of the holoform. This was the first time he consciously felt and analyzed the form. Its flesh felt indistinguishable from real flesh and this encouraged Block to continue. Hide just remained still.

Hide knew what it felt like to initiate physical contact and give pleasure, but he'd never truly experienced what it felt like to be on the receiving end. Block leaned down over the holoform and kissed its neck. He heard a few mechanical clicks and then Hide moaned. Block looked up at him while still kissing the holoform. When Block's brown eyes, met Hide's true blue optics, he sucked harder on the holoform's neck, eliciting another moan from Hide. Then Block kissed the form on the mouth and Hide reciprocated.

"May I touch you again," asked Hide once they parted lips.

"If you like, but I'm in control."

Hide gripped Block's ass tightly and Block paid him back royally by reaching into Hide's military slacks and groping his cock and balls. This was something Block had never done before. His actions caused Hide to buck and arch on the grass, in both forms. "Oh Primus, that's different."

"Good, I hope."

"Oh yeah, please continue."

Block continued to explore the holoforms body. _So real. _With ever touch and caress Block made it his business to look up and gauge the bot's response._ Look what I'm doing to him. This is crazy. _As Block ventured lower with his mouth, he became more nervous about what he was doing and what he wanted to do. Hide could sense an increase in Block's heartbeat, not that it wasn't already going a mile a minute.

"Please, continue. Please," said Hide.

Block looked into its heavy, lust filled eyes if the holoform. Then he looked up at Hide. How was it that the holoform could mimic the bot's expressions of desire so well? Block continued as asked. He unzipped and unbuttoned Hide's pants and slipped the form's cock out from its fabric. It too felt human and lifelike. It even seemed to have a pulse. "It's now or never," said Block aloud before placing his lips on the tip of Hide's cock. He had no idea what he was doing. Block only had the knowledge of what felt good to him. He must have been doing something right because Hide was thrusting into his mouth pleading for more. Seeing as all of this was new to Hide, the sensations created by Block's mouth and tongue, were quickly becoming too much. It didn't take long for Hide to overload. In fact, it only took for Roadblock to suck the holoform fully from base to tip, just once, for Hide to bellow into the night sky while calling on the name of Primus. He overloaded then quickly fell into stasis right on the grass.

Roadblock was caught by surprise when the holoform glitched and then dematerialized right out of his hands. He quickly looked up at Hide and saw that his optics weren't glowing. He panicked. Not knowing what else to do, he climbed the mech until he reached his chest chassis. He began pulling on wires and tinkering with cords in the hope of bringing him back online. Block didn't know that Hide just needed a few minutes to reboot. After 4 minutes or so Hide was coherent again.

"Ironhide, you okay? What happened?"

"WOW! My bio-circuits have never been overloaded like that before," said Ironhide, "I should have known you were good, especially after receiving your inspection."

"Please tell me I wasn't touching your junk during the inspection."

"Oh yes you were. We call it interfacing equipment and you were touching all over mine."

"That fluid that was on my hands − was it, you know?"

"Lubrication and Energon. Sorry, I couldn't help it. You had one hand on my spike and the other in my valve. I began leaking. Luckily, you finished when you did. There's only so much a mech can take. I was so close."

Embarrassed, Block laid his forehead down on Hide's chassis and he could feel a large metal finger stroking his back.

"It's okay. I enjoyed it."

"I'm sure you did!" replied Block as he looked up with a half-smile. It was quiet for only a second then Ironhide said, "You know, there used to be a Decepticon named Roadblock."

"What happened to him?"

"I killed him."

"Does that mean I should change my name?"

"Oh no, you're a whole different flavor and unlike the Decepticons − I like you."

Block burst into laughter and Ironhide joined in. They could have stayed under the stars all night just enjoying each other's company, but Block's cell phone brought them back to reality.

"I have to take this," said Block, "Hello."

"Sorry to disturb. I know you're enjoying the company of your new alien boyfriend," said Duke while laughing on the other end, "But we need to prepare for tomorrow. The rest of the team is arriving."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" asked Block.

"What? About the new alien boyfriend? You do realize you've been gone over an hour? It doesn't take that long to turn someone down. You two were busy having a celebration. Tell me I'm not right."

"Goodbye, Duke," said Block before ending the call.

"I guess we both better head back," said Hide before transforming into the Topkick. Hide opened the door, Block hopped in, and they were on their way to the main area of the base. Five minutes later they were in front of Block's quarters. Hide and Block kissed each other good night, via the holoform, but before they parted lips a voice yelled out, "Haven't you ever heard of don't ask don't tell? Get a room!"

Block gave Ironhide a good night's tap on the hood. Then he pointed his finger towards Duke and calmly said, "You've got a whole lot of hell coming to you. Better find a good place to hide."

Hide revved his engine in amusement before driving away. Ironhide was lost in a euphoric bliss while on his way back to the Autobot side of the base. He didn't even notice that all of the lights were out in the dorm hanger. There was always at least one light on and always one bot on lookout duty. As soon as Hide transformed and stepped through the entrance auto horns started going off and hazard lights started flashing. There were catcalls and whistle and someone, probably Jazz or Bee, was playing "I'm Sprung" by T-Pain in the background. There was no need to threaten anyone this time around because now there was truly something to celebrate

"How did you guys find out so quickly?"

"Our resident smart aleck and spy," responded Ratchet as he pointed a finger to the yellow bot.

"Bee, were you spying on us?"

"With the way you overloaded, I didn't have to spy. I could hear you as I was approaching from 400 meters away. I just assumed with an overload like that, it had to be good news."

"Oh slag, you heard that?!" grumbled an embarrassed Ironhide. Everyone in the room began to laugh and make jokes. Then Optimus began to speak over the crowd of bots.

"That's enough bashing our ole boy for one night," said the Prime, "Instead, let us raise our Energon cubes to Ironhide. We wish you the best, old friend."

"To Ironhide," yelled the entire room of bots. After everyone ingested their energon, it was finally time to retire. As Hide approached his room, he received a private comm from Bee.

/Since I'm no longer the only bot with a human mate, we need to plan a double date. It will be fun with you, Roadblock, Sam and me. Don't you think?/

/First we need to focus on the next leg of our battle/ said Hide, already back to mission mode, /If we make it out alive, then we'll do a double date./

/We'll be fine and I'm going to hold you to that. Good night, Hide./

/Good night, Bee./

That's the story of Ironhide and Roadblock.


End file.
